100 (give or take) things about Lee

Sunday · October 13, 2002 · 07:12 PM

Part 6 – in the bathroom

  1. I always lock the bathroom door when I’m in the bathroom.

  2. Even if I’m alone in the house.

  3. I never use the toilet if someone else is in the bathroom.

  4. I always leave the toilet rim down and the flapper part up.

  5. I think the flapper is useless and I’ve considered using it as a cutting board.

  6. Despite limericks to the contrary, I’ve never gotten my own urine in my eye.

  7. I’ve heard that some people pee in the shower, but I’ve never had a problem holding it.

  8. My average shower lasts 3 minutes.

  9. If there’s a second person in the shower with me, then it takes longer than double that.

  10. Sometimes I wonder how long it would take three people to shower.

  11. I always shower in the morning.

  12. When I shower at night, my hair has always dried funny.

  13. I’ve never use a blow dryer on the hair on top of my head.

  14. I brush my hair and let it dry naturally. Sometimes it needs brushing halfway through the process.

  15. I use a brush and not a comb. I can’t justify this.

  16. I bought a new brush for the trip, it’s smaller than my old brush.

  17. I always start a shower by getting thoroughly wet from the neck down.

  18. From there, I don’t have a pattern, but usually it’s lather from the bottom up, rinse, shampoo hair, rinse.

  19. I don’t wash below my knees – the soapy water does a good enough job.

  20. Some people have pointed out that my shins may need washing.

  21. To my knowledge, my shins don’t sweat or get dirty.

  22. I know someone that washes between individual toes with a washcloth.

  23. It takes her longer to wash her feet than it does for my entire shower.

  24. She also washes her bellybutton with a q-tip.

  25. During the time I’m in the shower, I think of some amazing things, but usually forget before I’m done drying off.

  26. This morning I tried to figure out why JavaScript has accuracy to more decimal places than Microsoft Excel.

  27. Being a computer geek is a 24/7 occupation.

  28. I hate water in my eyes. I’ll keep my eyes closed until I find the towel and wipe it out.

  29. Sometimes I forget to throw a towel over the curtain rod.

  30. Mayhem inevitably ensues, since my eyes are closed and I’m slippery.

  31. I’ve thought about hiring a full-time person to take care of this for me.

  32. I always dry off before I leave the shower.

  33. When I do my laundry, I always fold the towels the long way first. It makes it easier to throw over the shower rod.

  34. My cousin and I bought the same shower curtain one day.

  35. At the time, we lived 2000 miles apart and had never discussed shower curtains.

  36. I liked the shower curtain so much that I bought an extra one to make window curtains in the bathroom.

  37. Then I moved and didn’t have a bathroom window.

  38. My shower liner is “grape soda” colored.

  39. It tastes like plastic, however.

  40. I’m not one of those Lady Macbeth, always washing hands type people, but I’ve been known to wash before and after peeing.

  41. I feel like the soap pump, body wash, bar soap, and shampoo are the same thing and will use them interchangeably (ie, wash my hair with a bar of soap).

  42. I’ve thought about using laundry detergent – it was handy plus I like the smell of freshly laundered clothes.

  43. The toilet paper roll has to unroll over the top and down the front to make it easier to reach.

  44. The only exception is when there are cats around, since they may bat the roll and cause it to unspool.

  45. I prefer double-ply paper, but fold it in half anyway.

  46. A roll of toilet paper will last for months if it’s only me.

  47. I have never run out of toilet paper and then discovered it at a “crucial moment”.

  48. I hate cold tile floors.

  49. Especially on my butt.

  50. I don’t feel the need for a “clean bowl”, but I like the gadget that John Cage has.

  51. In the UK, they call toilet stalls “cubicles”.

  52. The thought of taking a crap in a cubicle is humorous.

  53. I love the push button showers in the UK. PUSH water PUSH no water

  54. I hate that they have a power switch, though. It’s usually disguised somewhere in the room.

  55. If there’s no power, the water stays very, very cold. I advise waiting until the temperature rises a bit before getting in.

  56. I suspect that ice water showers can cause heart attacks.

  57. I don’t see the need for a detachable showerhead. Maybe if I had a third hand or a prehensile tail.

  58. I brush my teeth every night and at least once other time during the day.

  59. I’ve got bad teeth and wish I’d brushed more often when I was younger.

  60. After brushing, I tap the toothbrush twice on the side of the sink to get the water out of the bristles.

  61. Once doesn’t do a good enough job and three times is overkill.

  62. I brush for longer than I shower.

  63. I never walk around the house while brushing.

  64. I will use any toothpaste, but like the kind with sparkles.

  65. If it tastes like bubble gum, that’s a bonus.

  66. Right now I’m using Colgate 2 in 1, which is sparkly and comes in a squeeze container instead of a tube.

  67. I’ve had a toothpaste tube get punctured in suitcase before.

  68. Shirts that smell like toothpaste seem to attract mosquitoes.

  69. I’ve discovered, the hard way, that there will be problems if the bathroom floor is smaller than the bathmat.

  70. I never bring a glass into the bathroom or anything breakable. Too much tile around and I’m too clumsy.

  71. I’ve never brought a food item into the bathroom. I’m never in there long enough that I’ve needed a snack.

  72. I also never bring reading material in, but have often wished I did.

  73. I always think if reading material when it’s too late.

  74. I don’t think I’ve ever put medicine in the medicine chest.

  75. I can’t recall ever buying aspirin, tylenol, or any other headache medicine.

  76. However, at one time I had three bottles in my bathroom, all bought by other people.

  77. Bubble bath soap and candles in a bathroom is totally a sissy thing unless a girl is living in the house, too.

  78. I’m not sure how to keep candles lit when I’m taking a shower.

  79. I suppose a long bath every once in a while could be nice.

  80. On the other hand, I have a hard time rinsing my hair while sitting.

  81. I know someone that dropped a book in the bathtub, then used the microwave to dry the book.

  82. If you microwave a book, it will start to revert back to a single block of wood.

  83. I shave every morning, but could probably skip every other day and noone would notice.

  84. I use an electric razor.

  85. I’ve never shaved my legs and anyone claiming otherwise is lying.

  86. I have shaved other people’s legs. Or at least one leg before going to get band-aids.

  87. I wear aftershave from Bath and Bodyworks.

  88. They claim it smells like a Mountain Breeze.

  89. I brought a small bottle of it for my trip.

  90. I consider that my one luxury item and will continue to use it until I’m voted off the island.

  91. Whenever there’s an extra bar of soap in the bathroom, and it’s wrapped, I’ll take it.

  92. I use these soaps as a back up, though and currently only have one.

  93. I also brought adhesive bandages for this trip.

  94. They’re not Band-Aid (™) brand, they’re made by 3M and come in pretty co


  95. I only brought five, though. So far, that looks like it won’t be a problem.

  96. I’m very picky about my underarm deodorant.

  97. I just bought some that I hate. It makes my pits itch.

  98. If I don’t use deoderant, my armpits smell like soup.

  99. I’m not really sure what kind, I think it’s vegetable.

  100. I wonder if the aluminum in deodorant will cause Alzheimer’s.

  101. I can’t remember where I read that.

  102. The human body requires too much maintenance.

  103. I hate to cut my nails and often wished I could let them take care of themselves through attrition.

  104. I thought of that in the shower once. Then I tried to conjugate “attrite”.

  105. Usually I get reminded by someone that that my nails are too long.

  106. This conversation always leads to “your nails sure grow strong”.

  107. I considered putting that on my resume.

  108. I usually trim my toenails when they start cutting me or others.

  109. I’ve never worn nail polish.

  110. I use q-tips to clean my ears.

  111. I stick them in farther than the recommended amount.

  112. When I was young, I was told not to stick anything in my ear except my elbow.

  113. My elbow doesn’t fit.

  114. I tweeze my chest hairs.

  115. I’ve heard that tweezing makes hair grow back longer and thicker.

  116. I’m concerned that this list makes me look like a freak.

  117. It surprises me when people make lists of 100 things and they run out of items half way through.

  118. I ran out of time before I ran out of items.