Do U Hiaku?

Tuesday · March 05, 2002 · 09:33 PM

One of the ways you know that a company is doomed, is by the number of committees they create during a meeting. I know you’ve heard this before, but it really is true. When you’re sitting in a meeting and someone says, “so how many committees should we create to oversee these committees?” Run. Run like hell. Any direction will do fine, just run.

I spend times during these meetings writing other non-work related stuff. Once I wrote an entire Seinfeld script, another time I designed a video game (complete with sketches of the main characters), and I’ve even written a four-page letter to Microsoft asking them to add the words “Michelle” and “Pfeiffer” to their spell checker.

Once during a meeting, I looked at my neighbor’s notes and he was writing down as many Nine Inch Nails lyrics as he could remember (“head like a hole, head like a hole, I’d rather die than give you control”, you know – angsty stuff). At least I hope they were NIN lyrics.

I have a theory that the IQ of a meeting is constant. That is, if a meeting had an IQ, which we’ll pretend for a minute that it does. So a meeting has an IQ and everyone in the meeting gets a portion of this IQ, which overrides his or her normal IQ. The more people you have in the meeting, the less every participant gets of this Meeting IQ, making them “meeting stupid”. More than 6 people and you may as well have 3 year olds trying to solve world peace.

Okay, enough complaining. My life isn’t as bad as other folks and I don’t have to sit in many of these meetings. I just wanted to see how many times I could fit Michelle Pfeiffer’s name in a blog entry.

I was going to change the haiku topic and thought “meetings” might be a good subject. Now I’m beginning to think that Michelle Pfeiffer may be a good topic. Then I decided that I’d go totally random (and odd): Plush Toys. Write a haiku about any stuffed toy or animal. As long as you don’t mention them going to meetings.

As an added bonus, if you act now and all that cliche’ crap, I’ve got a surprise. Watch this page for an update when the third new haiku is posted.

By the way, thanks for those that like the way I’ve decorated the new place. Let me know if there’s something you like or don’t like about the site. I enjoy the attention.

[Google Insanity: the voices in my head say “reload”]