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Saturday · February 23, 2002 · 05:10 AM

It’s just a stamp. Really. Why do you agonize over the design?

There are three types of stamps in this world – the ones that you collect, the ones that you stick to an envelope for delivery (ultimately being thrown out), and those that the squirrels take and hide under your couch (the bastards).

If you’re buying stamps at the Post Office, just grab any one and go. The design won’t matter for any of these stamp types. Even the collecting bit – trust me. When the Post Office says, “this will be a collectors item” and prints a million copies, you can forget any chance of it actually being worth more than face value.

Now get out of my way so I can mail this gift.

[My search engine peeps: cross-dressing postman]