Pet Names

Sunday · February 10, 2002 · 05:35 AM

My sister calls her younger son “peanut butter”, or just “peanut” when she’s being concise (I can’t put in print the things she calls the older nephew). I don’t remember our folks having nicknames for us when we were little, so I’m not sure where she got this behavior.

I have a friend that calls his wife “bee”. Or, maybe it’s “Bea”, I’m not sure (short for “Bea Arthur”?). Either way, it’s a private name he has for her and she seems to like it. At least she doesn’t whack him when he uses it (which leads me to believe it’s probably not a Bea Arthur reference).

I can’t think of anything offbeat, yet endearing that I’ve been called. Ever. My previous girlfriend called me sweetie, which was nice. Until I noticed she called her best friend, Sarah, sweetie. Then she called the mailman that, then the woman at Dunkin Donuts, etc.

I’m not sure how to reverse this “lack of nickname” trend – you can’t really start calling yourself something. It won’t catch on, otherwise I would have been called “sprocket” in High School:

Guy A (introducing me to Guy B): “And this is my friend.”

Me (shaking hands): “Just call me Sprocket.”

Guy B: “Socket?”

Me: “No, sprocket.”

Guy B: “Why would I do that?”

Guy A: “All of my friends aren’t so weird.”

They both go get their drinks refilled.

Anyway, I’m adding this to the list of requirements for the future “Mrs. ToeTag” (the nickname thing, not the need for a new drink). It seems sort of silly, but she’s got to be able to call me something endearing. Or maybe something downright cute if it’s a private nickname (although I wouldn’t want cute if others are going to hear it).

It seems that most of the existing nicknames are food related: cupcake, peach, sweet buns, etc. I suppose they could get out of hand, like calling someone “gator” or something. Unless it’s “later gator”, in which case it’s not so weird.

I think.

[chocolate shower jennifer lopez]