RANDOMODDNESS

Keep the cards and letters coming

Monday · December 17, 2001 · 11:30 PM

An anonymous stalker writes: “tell me about your showering.”

At first I was a little creeped out by this question, but figured we’re all consenting adults, it’s anonymous, and I’m not going to post any pictures of me showering. So, here you go.

First off, I highly recommended showering for everyone (some more than others). Second off, two people in the shower’s always good clean fun. Since this query seemed to be directed at me, I’ll stick to the details of my going it solo.

A quick disclaimer – I’m not your typical showerer. Don’t try this if you’re easily winded, have a history of heart problems, or own a wooden leg. As always, you should stretch before any strenuous activity.

I never thought about how “normal” my showering habits were until I talked to a cousin who washes between her toes. That just isn’t right. Hell, I don’t even wash my feet. In fact, I stop at my knees – everything below that is being rinsed off fine. I do that partially because I’m lazy and partially because I’ve been trying to cut my shower time down.

I’m aiming for the two-minute shower. I’m hoping it becomes an Olympic event.